We must fight, to run away!

umm... okay so today started off weird.
for one my mom woke me up at 6:50-sence when does she even care if im up or not and she should know by now that i always sleep into till 7:00-i have the amazing gift of being able to get ready in 25 min. so my day started off bad with that rude awaking, and to make it alittle stranger.. its my dad's birthday. which is probubly why he didnt want to take the kids to school today. my mom wanted to sleep in (well, i did too!) so i offred to take them to school and the next thing i knew i was driving down metcalf with an unusaly quite car.
then once i got to school (yes i was late) i walked into my studyhall class to see that Laura (the only girl who didnt abanden me when i came back) wasnt there. great.. i guess its lunch in the libary today, only she walks in minuts after me blabering on about her morning and everything wrong with her look. see, Laura gets up at the ungodly hour of 4 to start to get ready for school. why? i wouldnt know i think she could look just as good with out all the effort. anyways it was tords the end of class when we got onto the subject of money and collage. when i mrs. jillian (one of my favoret teachers) noted out loud that Laura is going to get hit had with the reality of the world and money.
see laura is in the market for a dog (why? im not sure. she already has 2 dogs and like 4 cats) and the dogs that she has pick out so far ar ranging from $900-$2000, for a dog WITH OUT its shots. (im the kind of girl that thinks mutts are the cuttest the dog pound would be more gratefull) and she wants be to move into a town house with her next year-like 20 min form where we live. whats the point of that? why spend the money when i would rather stay with my (gulp) mother. so to get to the point-Laura is a vary high mantnece and has a very high budget. so when Mrs. Jillian noted this out loud Laura flipped out! well i thought that this would be a perfect time help Laura understand what i have been saying about her for a while now. so i sided with Mrs. Jillian hopeing that would change her ways.
Laura flipped out! i mean she got really really mad! she practical burned a hole in my face. she has always been so high apenated about everyone and everything, so when someone fianly says something about her that they dont like she has to have a cow!
well serves her right. i have been getting so sick of her trying to force me into rooming with her in collage. im sick of her putting me down becuse i cant afford the things she wasts her money on. BEACUSE UNLIKE HER I HAVE TO PAY MY OWN CAR INSURACE THAT TAKES UP MY ENTIRE PAYCHEACK!!! and in the rear chase that i do buy my self somthing nice, she has to make sure that i dont forget it! ah! i am sooo galde to leave her behind with i go in the spring.
so when the bell finally rings she storms out of the room (even though we usally walk to our next class together) it felt good to know that she was upset. i know that that must make me sound like an awful person, but when you get trashed on my your "best" friend for over a year, it feels good to rebel.
so in foods class we had to make some sort of pie and i didnt make any attempt at trying to fix this. but when she doesnt make any mean comments or rude looks i assume that she's fine. wrong.
i asked her if she was mad. thats all i said, "laura are you man?". she looked at me, gave me a look from hell and said "are you fucking stupid? of course im pissed off! you saying that i dont know how to spend money, when your the one whos always broke! you had no right to talk to me like that!"
oh no she didnt.
i looked back at her and said "excus me?", and i could see that she knew she had crossed the line. i didnt talk to her the entire time we where in foods and i didnt wait for her to get her things so we couls walk to our lockers together. i just left.
next i have biolgy (yes im a senior and im taking biolgy, i only needed one credit of it at my old school) and i swear the guy next to me thinks i have a thing for him. anytime that i make a sudden move he's whole body twitches. i think is becuse he's a sophomore and by the way all of the other kids treat him, he seams to be one of the class-jerky-know-it-all-nerds. and i dont beleave in being rude to people just becuse all the cool kids are jurt to him. i have been polite and actule pertend to listen on the rear cases that we talk. and i think some of the other kids are starting to catch on. well who cares what they think.
so when it was time for lunch laura was waiting by my locker-wow, i thought she would have left and i would have been fine with that. but no she was there and i guess she wanted to apolgize, but didnt. i didnt make her or hold it over her head. to think that i only have the rest of the year to deal with her and then never see her again i might as well not try to make it suck.
by the time the last bell rang i dont think i could have made it out of the school fast enough. i had gutair lessins and my teacher (god, i cant reamber his name for the life of me...) brought his electic gutiar and a $600 amp. i have never been so inspired to want to rock out with the amp turned up all the way.
before i knew it i was home and now im at my dad's house. he just blew out the 4 candles (for us four kids) of his double decker germen choclet cake. and not were about to start pirates of the caribbean: at world's end.
'cuse after all "We must fight, to run away! "

mind-writing

i am going to give you a look into my life. i am going to be mind writing (or typing). this is where i just type. i don't think about it, i do backspace, i don't preread it, i just type. this is supposed to reveal thoughts or things that i don't even know I'm thinking about. so this is for you mystery reader-you now have a look into the mind of a witnesses.

okay here i start, i now know that something have had been bothing is is that i know that i cant take it anymore. this is what i wasnt i want to runn and never see anyone when i get back we can all be there and icouldbe e just like i have alwyas whatne ted it to be not i no wthat i waont very nice it can taosine this whati a m takning anoutn the the ousdfhand tnow i wkno wthat i wnat ot run andnever seee you again it wil al be gooointo the i dont im better off dead and i no it i sdoint care about anyone tyou know that im berretter of betteroff im bertter off deadthis is got to be good i know that things are ging to change anc get good i have a feeling that the time is changegs and it will be amazing it is only a metter of time this is so insperational my future it whatto be good and soo n thingd wii be fine im just easy going witht he sound turned up and the i will bush away and it will be sae now that im here to be the one i want to be i will soon be there sto swhhe that i know whwt ai hvere to live and i wa trying to be tthat doogbersone and i know that sooo someone will comfor me and be my hero i will stay with thim and it wil be all right becuse i we live togetfor ever and they wil love me back becuse we are best firends.

this didn't make any sense (and i hate the last part the did make sense) but i guess you have an unclear look at my thoughts

i just wish i didn't hurt so much to know..

well.. here i am telling my story to anyone who wants to listen. I'm the oldest of four with divorced parents. you could say I'm like any other 17 year old girl with a blog to vent out her feelings, and your probably right. but i feel like i need to be here to tell my stories for that one person who will read them and wont judge me on my looks or brains or actions. just my stories.
it feels like forever, that i have been a shadow ageist the page. only to brighten up the light coming off the starts that walked across the pages of my life. only hoping that i one day they will allow me to join them where they shine the brightest-who was i kidding?
reality is this, my name is Natalia and i go to one of the best public schools in the state. i make OK grades, am learning to play a guitar, and started a "best seller". a book that i still haven't finished. i have had only one best friend in my life and she was taken away by a neighborhood argument. i have been to about five schools, has only moved once (when i was 2). owned exotic birds and am afraid of heights. the best year of my life was eighth grade (when i actually have enough convenience to be my self) and the worst time of my life was freshmen year (i moved back to an old school, where i didn't leave on a good note, and my parents divorced that year too). today I'm in my senior year of high school and i couldnt be more sick about it. because of my "OK" grades i didn't get into the collage of my choice. and my mom, being the jerk she, wont let me forget it. other then that you could say that I'm any parents wish. i don't get into fights at school, i don't to drugs or drink, and i wont make out with a guy i just met. if you asked any one who knew me they would all say the same- "she's a nice polite pretty girl, but i wouldn't expect her to go anything bad ass"-shows what they know.
i just wish i didn't hurt so much to know how bad of a person i am.