i just wish i didn't hurt so much to know..

well.. here i am telling my story to anyone who wants to listen. I'm the oldest of four with divorced parents. you could say I'm like any other 17 year old girl with a blog to vent out her feelings, and your probably right. but i feel like i need to be here to tell my stories for that one person who will read them and wont judge me on my looks or brains or actions. just my stories.
it feels like forever, that i have been a shadow ageist the page. only to brighten up the light coming off the starts that walked across the pages of my life. only hoping that i one day they will allow me to join them where they shine the brightest-who was i kidding?
reality is this, my name is Natalia and i go to one of the best public schools in the state. i make OK grades, am learning to play a guitar, and started a "best seller". a book that i still haven't finished. i have had only one best friend in my life and she was taken away by a neighborhood argument. i have been to about five schools, has only moved once (when i was 2). owned exotic birds and am afraid of heights. the best year of my life was eighth grade (when i actually have enough convenience to be my self) and the worst time of my life was freshmen year (i moved back to an old school, where i didn't leave on a good note, and my parents divorced that year too). today I'm in my senior year of high school and i couldnt be more sick about it. because of my "OK" grades i didn't get into the collage of my choice. and my mom, being the jerk she, wont let me forget it. other then that you could say that I'm any parents wish. i don't get into fights at school, i don't to drugs or drink, and i wont make out with a guy i just met. if you asked any one who knew me they would all say the same- "she's a nice polite pretty girl, but i wouldn't expect her to go anything bad ass"-shows what they know.
i just wish i didn't hurt so much to know how bad of a person i am.